Monday, May 12, 2003

Nothing. Nada. A day of unproductive productivity. I've emptied out an entire room, so now I have two messy rooms. It's hard to shove stuff back in--it expands.

Ugh. Nothing. Nothing at all.

Sunday, May 11, 2003

Emerging from the end of semester cocoon is always a rush.

First, you feel this immense sense of sadness, of emptiness. It's as if someone has vacuumed out your heart and your gut. The anxiety that you've been living with is gone.

A good night's sleep (or two) and you're bouncing off the walls, itching to get your hands on a book, your brain on a problem, your mind working. You start looking for students to correct, for papers to grade, for people to teach.

You shop to fill the void. You sign up for classes to learn something new.

Today I found myself wandering around a fabric store, touching satins and brocades, twills and tweeds, trying to convince myself that I would, indeed, make a tafetta party skirt this summer to maybe wear to some party that may exist so that I may be invited to it in the fall. I made it out of the store with nothing more than a couple of yarn needles.

I can't wait for classes to start in June.